Limewire Shutdown?

Alright so limewire, a program I have been using since 2004, possibly earlier, is now not working for me. It seems that limewire has been going through legal preceedings, simillar to napsters, for quite awhile now. Their website reads:

This is an official notice that LimeWire is under a court-ordered injunction to stop distributing and supporting its file-sharing software. Downloading or sharing copyrighted content without authorization is illegal.

 I can't download my movies, tv shows, or music right now. And probably won't be able to any further because of this, see link below for article. Gotta be honest though, I'm a little ticked.
Limewire legal article

Requirements to be my Man

Yah, it is a little juvenile to post something like this, but hey, I am a child at heart. Plus the words hold true. If a guy is looking to be my man, take these words and apply them:

Someone who will text me every morning to tell me good morning and every night to tell me sweet dreams.

Someone who will hold me when I cry and wipe away my tears.

Someone who thinks I'm beautiful no matter what I look like.

Someone who will never pressure me to do things I don't want to do.

A guy who will kiss me on the forehead b/c it doesn't always have to be on the mouth.

A guy who doesn't kiss and tell.

A guy who actually listens to me when you talk.

A guy who's excited all day because he's looking forward to our date that night.

A guy who is content to just be able to hold me and wants nothing more.

A guy who can't help but smile when I walk into the room.

A guy who's perfectly content with staying in and watching movies and cuddling.

A guy who won't lie to me about where he's going or where he's been, or who he's been with.

A guy who gets butterflies when he hears my name.

A guy who's not afraid to tell his friends he loves me.

A guy who doesnt mess with other girls when he has me; I'm the only one that he needs.

A guy who doesn't care about my imperfections, and loves me more for them.

A guy who will hold you while we watch the sun set.

A guy who really wants to make me the happiest girl in the world.

Enlightening Expericence

I wrote this originally on May 30 2007 but I re-edited it today....omitted some things that just dont hold true anymore. I also want to note that this is about an experience I had with drugs. Although I do not regret doing this and am glad I had the experience, its not something that should ever be abused. A lot of people abuse LSD and other drugs. I did it and learned a lot of things, I was in a safe environment around people that were watching out for me. I also dont have any medical issues that could cause issues, nor was I on any medications. So please do not think Im saying to go out and do LSD or any other drugs. I now have a daughter and can't risk doing LSD. Why? Because I do not know enough about the substance to know I will come out of it perfectly capable to be a mother, plus there are many people out there that would sell you something as LSD but could be something FAR worse.

I realize why everything  has happened the way it has. All past event, good and bad had to happen to get me to this point in my life. And the journey is still far from over. I do not regret the bad things that have happened to me any more. It is pointless to do so. It does not get you anywhere. I do not want to dwell over the bad/negative things anymore. Embrace life, look around, the world is filled with so much beauty. Find the peace out there. You have to or you will go crazy. speaking of crazy, well kinda ironic, or maybe just odd, is that it took some serious "drugs" to have me understand all of this. Over this past memorial day weekend I was enlightened.

But before I talk about that let me just say that the past two months (April & May) have been crazy. For the entire month of May I was unemployed and it was some of the best 31 days of my life. Over Memorial day weekend, actually starting Wednesday, I was involved in a "festival" called Camp Reggae. Think what you want about it if you have heard of it, but for me it was one of the most spiritual and enlightning experiences of my life. Yes, I did some drugs while I was there. Just about everybody there did (thats not why I did them though). The one drug that I did that opened my eyes so much was liquid LSD. Yah, I know, pretty serious drug. But OMG! It change me as a person and I believe it changed me for the better. It opened my eyes and my mind. Everything is connected. For one, because of it I understand why my life has gone exactly the way it has. There are no random moments in time. Everything creates a ripple. As I was tripping I was sitting in my chair at my campsite watching and listening to a guy djing. There was music and a light show. And the lights moved with the music and I could see the soundwaves (they were red at times). I could see the ripples from other sounds. I stayed up all night learning knowledge. Knowledge that I haven't fully understood yet. But I do feel that the entire world should know too. As day came I watched the stars disappear and the sun come up. As the sun came up it rose with colors. Blues and greens mostly. I got to watch this beautiful sight while listening to ambient/trance music. After the sun was fully up everything was outlined in pretty neon, chalk like colors. I saw these colors creeping up the hillside. BEAUTY. Thats what is was. My new phrase that I say lot now is "its all about the colors man!" I say this because I did see colors and they were beautiful. so by that I mean that this world is filled with so much colorful beauty and that is one of the things we should focus on.

My beliefs have changed. They have always been changing. I no longer consider myself a christian. I do believe in God and Jesus, but it is different than the way of the norm christian religion. I cannot follow the Bible completly because I do not live my life exactly by the Bible and do not intend to. Some people think that I am doing stupid stuff but I do not think I am. Yes, in the past two months I have done stupid things. I did those things because I was searching for something. Well I am done searching. My life is on the path it should be. I just need to get some things in order like eating healthier, stick with my new job and continue learning.

But I do want to say this, I am sorry Daniel that things had to become so bitter between us. You were an essential part of my life. But I know we were not meant to spend our lives together. I know you will find that one that truly believes what you believe and has the same views as you.

I would also like to say that from this moment on I want to strive to have less negativity in my life and experess my creativeness more often. The hippie in me has come out. Peace, love, and colors man. And with that I am done sharing for the moment.

Writings of a Crazy Person

This was published on another blog of mine July 3rd 2007: Thought I would revisit it.

The following in itallics are bits and pieces from a journal I kept in summer of 2007.

"Can't even write straight or legible. Too many drug users. Why? I am fading in and out of worlds. So that's why people are showing her their ice magic."
Yah, I can't explain what I meant by that, I was just writing any thoughts that came into my head...plus I was half asleep.

"Tyrancy, that's what it is. I can see it. Its crystal clear to me. If certain people would just open their minds and stop being judgemental. Because that's what he is. His eyes judge the crap out of you when they glance your way."
"I will make a scene and speak the truth!"
This is about the Copperhill tyrant who was the police commissioner until the Mayor knocked him down a couple pegs.

"I keep getting these hints sent to me. Will and I are both being protected. If we keep ignoring this or we don't change something. I believe that the protection will cease and the world will decide to teach us the lesson the hard way." -June 16th 2007
This was just a random thought I had then became very real later on when the cops decided to mess with Will. Luckily, I did change and for the most part I am doing okay...Will on the other hand is stuck in a repeat.

"All in due time. That phrase is very true. Everything that is meant to happen will happen when it is suppose to...due time."
Its a hopeful phrase, that says one day everything will work out....but why sit back and wait for that day...make things good NOW!

"Today first day of summer, payday, friday and the day I am going to the fair! Woohoo all around!"
Later on that day I got into a car wreck...still went to the fair.

"Why do people insist on sitting near me? There's no need to. I'm putting up a bubble. No one is to sit in the stools next to me unless they are my friend. Cool, now the bubble is up! I like bubbles, I need some more where my rubber ducky tat is. Bubbles going up my left leg and daisies, fairies, and butterflies up my right leg. Colors on my left foot. Back piece on my back. Band on my arm and wrist. And something on my collar bone. Yup, I love tats."
See how my thoughts just wander?

Pentagram, not of the Devil

What is a pentagram? It is a five pointed start that is usually surrounded by a circle. Although it is really nothing more than just a symbol, it is often thought to represent Satan. The pentagram was not created to be a symbol of Satan, nor was it ever even intended to be a symbol of evil. The origins of the pentagram, its use in the Wicca religion, and its associations with Christianity and the freemasons all show that this is not a symbol of the devil, and is actually a symbol of good.

            The specific origin of the pentagram is unknown, but all historical accounts of the pentagram do not mention Satan. The earliest use of the pentagram I have found was by Pythagoras. Pythagoras was an ancient Greek, who lived from 586-506 BC. Pythagoras started a school that taught mathematics, music, and religion and he was eventually driven underground because of his teachings. Pythagoras' followers used the pentagram symbol to identify themselves to each other, without their enemies knowing (NicMhach). The pentagram is also found in many other ancient cultures and countries such as China, Egypt, and the ancient Mayan culture of South America (Emick). Jennifer Emick states, "It has been found scratched on the walls of Neolithic caves and in Babylonian drawings, where it marks the pattern planet Venus makes on its travels." Ancient Sumerian texts have it marking directions and have it representing the five visible planets (Emick). The symbol is more widespread than most may think.

            As widespread as the pentagram may be in the history of different countries, today it is widely used by the Wicca religion. Contrary to what some may think, the Wicca religion has no association with the devil. Wiccans do not acknowledge the existence of Satan and they have no all-evil deity out of their gods and goddesses (Robinson). Wiccans use the points of the pentagram to represent the five elements. The five elements are: air, fire, water, earth, and the spirit (HME Publishing). The top point of the pentagram usually represents the spirit and by putting a circle around the pentagram it usually represents the endless or eternity (Carroll). The Wicca religion is a gentle and nature based religion (Robinson). They believe that everything comes back on a person three times. According to this belief, if a person used the pentagram as a symbol of Satan or evil, it would come back on the three times worse (Wigington).

            The pentagram is also found in Christian religion and in the freemason organizations. Satan is a part of Christian beliefs, but this is not where the association between the pentagram and Christianity is found. According to B.A. Robinson, the pentagram was widely used in the past by Christian as a protective amulet. Some Christians have also used the pentagram to represent the five wounds of Christ (Emick), with the point representing his two wrist wounds, two ankle wounds, and his side wound (Robinson). The pentagram has also been used to symbolize the star which led the three kings to baby Jesus. There is also the organization the freemasons, in which almost all members are Christians, that use the pentagram. The freemasons associate the five point of the pentagram with the five points of fellowship (Robinson). Also, many of the founding fathers of the United States were freemasons, and if you look for the pentagram you can find it in several of the United States' early iconography. Some examples of where the pentagram is found in the United States iconography are: on the American flag, the Great Seal, and on our currency (Emick). According to Jennifer Emick, "The pentagram is even found in our nation's capitol, where the White House sits at the apex of a giant pentagram."

            The pentagram is far from being a symbol of the devil. In fact, the first time the pentagram, pointing downwards, was used with any negative meaning was by a nineteenth century scholar, Eliphas Levi. Satanists did not start using the pentagram until the mid twentieth century. About.com also says, "Even the oldest representations of black masses and other 'Satanic' activities contain no pentagrams." The origins of the pentagram, its use with the Wicca religion, and its association with Christianity and the freemasons, all show it to be a symbol of good and not a symbol of Satan or of evil (Emick). Do not assume people who are wearing a pentagram are bad, because they could be some of the nicest, non-evil, people you ever meet.

Work Cited

Carroll, Robert T. "Pentagram." The Skeptic's Dictionary.

http://skepdic.com/pentagram.htm (13 November 2007)

Emick, Jennifer. "Alternative Religions." About.com.

http://altreligion.about.com/library/weekly/aa100102a.htm (13 November 2007)

HME Publishing. "Symbol 29:14." Symbols.com.

http://www.symbols.com/encyclopedia/29/2914.html (13 November 2007)

NicMhach, Sharynne. "The Star of Life." Witches Voice.

http://www.wichvox.com/basics/pentacle.html (29 November 2007)

Robinson, B.A. "Wicca and other Neopagan Traditions, Pentacles and Pentagrams." Religious Tolerance.

http://www.religoustolerance.org/wic_pent.htm (13 November 2007)

Wigington, Pattie. "Paganism/Wiccan." About.com.

http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/wiccaandpaganismbasics/a/Rule_of_Three.htm (29 November 2007)

Transition with a side of Temptation

I wrote this on a diff blog in Sept 2008, I had found this paper with sermon notes from November 2005 on it. The following is what I posted:

It felt like something I'm going through now. Then tonight I'm winding down for bed...filled with this creative urge and I see this paper again. I re-read it and think wow, I may not be the only one that needs to hear this. But I say, pssshh I'll do something about it tomorrow. Well I couldn't do that...the thought of it just wouldn't let me rest. So here it is....the notes that I have written from Nov. 13 2005...let me give credit to Pastor Marcus Mecum of 7 Hills Church, then known as Fellowship of Believers.
The scriptures I have written down are: Matthew 16:16, 18, Luke 22:31-32, 40, 45, 54-55, 56-61, and John 21:3-4, 15, 17.
*God is a God of change, he never destroys/removes the old & gives birth to the new @ the same time. There is a period of waiting in between.
*Transition makes us vulnerable because we are not where we were, but we aren't there yet.
*God works in ways that many times we do not understand
*God puts us in transition to put us in a better place
*Satan can forecast what God is going to do in someone's life, so satan will launch an attack on that person
*Transition won't always be easy
*Praying will keep you from entering temptation.
*When you fall into temptation you get tired/weary of praying
Temptation of transitions:
*Spirit of slumber *following from a distance-excuses bigger than your destiny
*warming up to the wrong fire-not always going to be what you think-your tested and tempted during transition-sometimes we just have to take the test: "God I'm in transition, what are you trying to teach me??"
*Frustration is a result of being uncordinated with the season we are in
*A dream that can't be tested can't be trusted
*Don't deny ppl that are put in your life for leadership
*God takes the fun out of backsliding
*ppl try to make you feel wrong for doing right
*make sure your influence on ppl is a godly influence
*jesus always asks "do you love Me?" and tries to bring us back. never is like, "how dare you!"
*since God is unchanging, we must change
*to not change is more destructive
*Shift in heave, shift in earth. After you are enlightened you are attacked
*You forget who Jesus is, and the you forget who you are. John 21:15-17
*Tripple emphasis in the scripture means never stop saying it. ex: holy, holy, holy. The angels never stop crying holy

Message to ALL Men

I wrote this on May 12th 2010, there was a few guys, one in particular though, that thought they could string me along thinking I would never notice. Needless to say it ended with the joke not being on me.

Do ya'll really think ya'll can lie to me or play me? Hell no!! I have put up a wall so strong that you have to be a real man to get through; and only after I have known you for a long time. I may be forgetful, a bad driver, and crazy at times, but I am smart. Some of you do not realize how smart. As a smart woman, I know not to make the same mistake twice. I gave all I had to the father of my daughter, and all he did was lie, manipulate, hustle and play me. The entire event taught me a lot. For example: Don't let it happen again; read the warning signs and take action. I have excellent intuition and I know when people are being less than honest. Go ahead though guys, try and play me and see where it gets you. Although being in a commited relationship is nice and something I hope for one day, as long as I have my Faith, I am fine, she is all I need. But note this: THE MAN I DO END UP WITH WILL BE A LUCKY SON OF A BITCH BECAUSE I WILL BE THE BEST DAMN WOMAN I CAN BE TO HIM!